Rule 1. The GM is a Bastard.
What's the difference between the referee of the game and an oppressive military dictator? Oppressive military dictators don't tend to have three square feet of cardboard dividing their bit of the table from everything else. That cardboard goes by many names: the GM Screen; the privacy shield; or, for those of a more melodramatic turn of phrase: the Iron Curtain. It is behind this screen that the GM has his books, his notes, and more importantly it's where he makes his die rolls. Sometimes he fudges the die rolls upwards. Sometimes downwards. Sometimes he rolls dice just to make you nervous. Regardless of the favour he may choose to bestow upon you, remember that the GM is a bastard. Aloof, capricious, sadistic, with a boredom threshold just as low as any other gamer's.
If you are a GM or plan on being one, then it is your solemn duty to cultivate a vicious streak and to delight in the amusing deaths of those who insist on calling themselves heroes. If you are players, then it is your duty to anticipate this bastard's vicious streak and either try to defuse it (ha!), appease it (ha! ha!) or deflect its terrible wrath onto other players (ha! ha! ha!).
A starting course in Metagaming
Now, some might argue that this is metagame thinking, and is actually detrimental to the game. I beg to differ: this sort of thinking is what the game's all about! By pitting your wits against each other, you are in fact endeavouring to make the game more satisfying. Furthermore, the bigger a bastard the GM is, the more the players have to stick together and work as a team if they wish to prosper.
Still not satisfied? Ah, well. There's no pleasing some people. Fine. Then take heed, because now I shall show you how to dodge accusations of metagaming with such grace and ease that people will suspect you of ninjutsu. Ultimately, metagaming is viewed as expressing the following thought: 'What is the GM / some other player likely to think or do?'. It's a perfectly valid question, but it does tend to draw head-shaking, frowning and tutting from people who take their roleplaying a little more seriously. Smooth over the creases by rephrasing the question. Try some of the following on for size:
- What is the villain / the monster likely to do?
- What would I do, were I in the villain's position?
- What would a complete bastard do with access to these resources?
- What would the Gods do to us, given the way they toy with us for their sport?
They are all the exact same metagaming question, they are all concerned with attempting to get inside the GM's head and beat him at his own game, but they're dressed up in fancy roleplaying terms that should get you off the hook.