How many of you out there have, in a fit of nostalgia about your favourite kids' TV programmes from the 80s and 90s, wondered just which villain was the hardest? Really? That few of you. Damn. Well, just play along anyway. It's just a bit of fun.
Pre-Match Selection Process
Trying to narrow the list down to a shortlist of 16 was a tricky task. In case you haven't noticed, there are a hell of a lot of series out there, and there were plenty of villains wanting to test their mettle. In the end, selection was based on three criteria: firstly, competitors had to be evil. None of this 'turning nice' stuff that got Magneto disqualified. Secondly, they had to appear on TV – whether the appearance was live-action or animated. Thirdly, there could be no more than one character from each universe – so either Skeletor or Hordak, but not both, only two Marvel Universe villains, that sort of thing. Yes, I know Cobra Commander and Megatron met in the comics. I know there've been crossovers. Shut up.
I am sorry to report that there were some irregularities in the selection process. When volunteers from The Tick were sought, there was a bit of a ruck between Chairface Chippendale, The Breadmaster and El Seed. It looked like El Seed was about to come out on top, but just as he got up to the table to sign his name, it turned out that The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight had snuck in and appended his name to the list. Too late for anything to be done about it.
In the DC camp, tough choices had to be made. Lex Luthor was a very strong contender… but the Joker won in the end, being a snappy dresser and having that nice smile. No such problems in the Marvel camp. Once Magneto was disqualified, no-one dared stand in Doctor Doom's way and he powered his way through the selection process.
A surprise entry was the Master of Marblehead himself, Lord Fear. Spurred on by repeats of Knightmare on Challenge TV, His Lordship remains quietly (all right, noisily) confident that he can beat his animated opponents and win the cup.
The final list of contestants is as follows:
- Skeletor (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe)
- Mumm-Ra (Thundercats)
- Venger (Dungeons & Dragons)
- Megatron (Transformers)
- Ming the Merciless (Defenders of the Earth)
- Doctor Doom (The Fantastic Four)
- The Joker (Batman: The Animated Series)
- The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs At Midnight (The Tick)
- Gargamel (The Smurfs) 14-1
- Doctor Claw (Inspector Gadget) 5-1
- Baron Silas Greenback (Danger Mouse)
- Lord Bloth (Pirates of Darkwater)
- Miles Mayhem (MASK)
- The Shredder (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
- Cobra Commander (G.I. Joe)
- Lord Fear (Knightmare)
All that remains is to select who shall fight whom in Round One.