Slack 'n' Hash

Battle of the Villains

And so it comes down to this; a battle between two paragons of evil; people whose entries in the history books will probably describe them as 'not very nice people at all'. Who wins? Who is consigned to the scrapheap? Why the Hell couldn't I get a pay-per-view deal set up in time?

Pre-Match Weigh-In
Lord Fear Venger
Name: Lord Fear Venger
Show: Knightmare Dungeons & Dragons
Actor: Mark Knight Peter Cullen
Location: Level 3 of the Dungeon. The Realm
Affiliation: The Opposition. Recruits armies and evil minions on a work-or-be-obliterated basis.
Enemies: Treguard Dunshelm the Dungeon Master, The Powers-that-Be, the Dungeoneers and you. Dungeon Master, Tiamat the dragon, and those pesky kids (Hank, Sheila, Eric, Bobby, Diana and Presto). That bloody unicorn too.
Minions: Goblins, miremen, FrightKnights, Skeletrons, blockers, you name it. Orcs, lizardmen, bullywugs. Just give him the contents of the Monster Manual and he's a happy force of evil.
Henchmen: Skarkill the Goblin-Keeper, and then Lissard. Sundry others: the Brollachan, Sylvester 'Sly' Hands, Raptor. Shadow Demon. Also has a nightmare as a steed, unnamed. Probably not called Binky.
Evil Powers: Technomancy. Always designing traps and creating mechanical monstrosities, most notably the FrightKnights and the Skeletrons. Sorcery. Venger's also bred demons in his time; Demodragon, a half-demon/half-dragon being a noteworthy example.
Goals: To win. Kill as many Dungeoneers as possible, humiliate Treguard, the whole arch-villain bit. To get the kids' magic weapons, destroy Tiamat, destroy Dungeon Master, take over the Realm, reign of evil. Then breakfast. Evil breakfast.
Appearance: Not a very imposing build; average height but slightly plump. It's all in the face; pallid complexion, menacing expressions. He tries to look mean and for the most part succeeds. When in doubt, he just pours on the venom. Doesn't even have to try. Eight-foot-zero in his stockinged feet and built like a brick shithouse; pale blue skin, fangs, burning red eyes: at times you don't even notice that he wears a skirt!
Campness: Pretty high. Always berating his minions about their complexion and breath -- probably made Lissard cry as a consequence. Has an evil cackle. Loves to gloat. Loves the sound of his own voice. I like the view -- I really do like looking down on people. Comes naturally, you know. Surprisingly low. Not one evil laugh in 27 episodes. Doctor Doom levels of arrogance. Doesn't come up with flowery insults, preferring the terms 'weakling', 'coward' or 'fool'; he calls it like he sees it. The most he'll come up with is a scathing remark that disparages someone's character. He is a brave boy. Not at all like his father. All in all, not very camp despite the fact that he swans about in a big dress.

Last modified: 26/11/08. All material ©2003-8 its creators.

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